amorous

new icon taken out of the goldfinch (2019) because it makes me feel nice even though i have not actually watched the movie dunno if i wanna ruin what i've read with that ~ if it's not already obvious im also slightly erratic right now as im typing.

if u decided on clicking the link to this dw thinking u will be getting writing updates i am so sorry for having disappointed u by losing my shit n going bonkers instead. i am turning this dw into a killing eve scream dump place for the time being cos i cannot believe !! i just cant. this is not a joke this is my life. this is how it feels being unhinged. 

to Actually talk about the subject of this entry. if u have not seen the new promotional video for killing eve right now   this is THE sign: GO WATCH IT NOW. saw someone saying something about the red string theory n if u really know me this is a combination of my interests at once (TGCF SOULMATISM... its CRAZY) n i am losing it !!!! if i dont scream about it somewhere i will Spontaneous Human Combustion. they look so good !! women !! in red !!! whatever symbolism i must be looking over cos i am not good at paying to the details. makes me go hrrRRRrrrrh. i will not beg for hate make out session this season imma ask 11 times n Thats it.  while watching the video i also cant help but think of psycho by red velvet if someone edits ke clips to it. ... haha jk. Unless?

life has been a whirlwind but its now back to usual stagnancy n i do not know how to feel and deal with it or if i want to at all. i almost always live update on my priv twitter which is not healthy n sustainable in any way. because i will go back on it n loathe myself for not having a brake n at least trying to find solution to things i complain about instead of whining about it on the internet. so . i am recovering from whatever it was that made me fall sick so badly Thank Universe. but i dont know how im doing mentally because i am abandoning n repressing it entirely <3 love that for me. im starting to consume media again n that includes reading more books !! (like im not already reading enough atm LOL) n i found a dropbox link to books ive been wanting to read. whoever made it is godsent. 

anywya. this is what i have been up to instead of writing aside from daydreaming of the cottagecore life i deserve to lead as means to avoid thinking of my very real n pressing financial situation aha i call it recuperating the accurate word to say it is procrastinating ! pray by the end of this week i have made some actual writing progress. Amen.